Dating: "What You Deserve" Won't Be There Day 1

Dating in this new generation is tough enough as it is. No one has the time, patience, or mental capacity to waste their time. So much of the dating game has been left behind in favor of working on ourselves. We’ve dedicated most of our free time to maintaining positive mental health. No longer can most of us tolerate the games, the lies, or emotional baggage in our dating lives. It’s gotten to the point where everyone is swearing it off until they find exactly what they’re looking for. How many times have you or one of your single friends proclaimed “I’m done dating until I find what I deserve” or “I will not settle”.

If that’s the mentality you have, prepared to be single for an awful long time, if not forever. No, you shouldn’t settle for a half-hearted relationship. Nor should you force one just for the sake of not being single. However, if you’re not at least taking a chance, your stubbornness is failing you not your dates. Truth be told, “what you deserve” isn’t going to be there on the first date. It won’t show up in the first week, maybe the first month, or first year. “What you deserve” takes time, patience, and sacrifice that is built with trust over the long haul.

Come to think of it, don’t forget what they deserve as well. Your partner deserves to “not settle” as well. Relationships aren’t a two-way street, they’re a one way street you both need to be traveling in the same direction to reach your destination. Stop driving into oncoming traffic and hoping you don’t crash. The mentality that makes people give up on dating because they don’t see what they deserve early on is ridiculous. People grow, they change, and in a good relationship will want to become the best versions of themselves for both themselves and their partner.

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If you can stay single and focus on your well being because you’re not ready for a relationship, that’s fine and deserves to be applauded. But demanding perfection and keeping everyone at an arms distance hinders potential happiness. No one wants to get hurt, waste their time, and spend emotions on someone that doesn’t pass the vibe check. However, giving up on love all together isn’t the answer either.

If you want to find “what you deserve” while dating and “not settle”, you have to be willing to take risks which means you may get hurt. They’re called risks for a reason. Dating these days is a lot like gambling. Yeah you’ll lose more often times than you win but once you hit that jackpot, you’ll forget about all the money you lost along the way. Keep dating, keep searching, and never be afraid to fail. Giving up is the worst way to “settle” and more than likely you’ll never find “what you deserve”.