Mental Health: Men Aren't Taught to Deal With Emotion

Men might have an unfair advantage in the workplace and positions of power, but they’re not ahead in everything. When it comes to mental health, men aren’t where we should be especially when it comes emotions. There’s a TikTok trend going around where the content creator asked “when you’re down who do you call?” or something close to that. From there you watch video after video of men with the same response “no one. I’m a man, no one cares” and it’s sad really.

Think about it, men are only allowed to have three emotions happy, mad, or drunk. Even then, happy comes with an asterisk. We celebrate this culture where it’s cool to drink to deal with out anxieties. We continue this vicious cycle where anytime we need to celebrate, when someone dies, or even just having a rough go at it turn to alcohol. Birthdays we drink to celebrate, holidays we drink to let loose and deal with family, and even when we’re happy it all comes down to drinking.

From a young age, men aren’t taught to deal with those same emotions. You’re sad? Man up. You’re hurt? Man up. You’re angry? That’s okay because as men we’re allowed to fight for our survival. We’re allowed that aggression because that’s the lone thing that shows strength. Everything else is excused by either being happy, or we explain away our problems and turn to other means of dealing with them.

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There’s a growing trend in the world we live in where things seem to be getting worse as time goes on. People are at each others throats for things that used to be minor. More and more men are turning to suicide as a way of coping. We can’t ask for help because it’s either looked down upon or just flat out not there.

Why does it have to be this way? Why do we have to turn to self-sabotage in order to properly process our emotions? We sacrifice so much in the hopes of being seen as more masculine. How come we can’t be strong, masculine, family men and still have a full range of emotions?

This culture is so beyond backwards where the only way to deal with our emotions are through means of sabotaging our mental and physical health. We should be able to be sad when we lose a loved one. No one should be looked down upon when they’re disappointed for missing out on an opportunity at work. Men should be allowed to say “I’m not okay with ..” without judgement. Just because we let our emotions in, doesn’t mean we’re not man enough to dust ourselves off after a tough day and keep going.

There’s nothing “soft” about recognizing your thoughts and feelings and finding healthier ways to deal with out mental health. Men have been so brainwashed into believing that unless you’re in full attack mode, that’s the only way to get ahead in life. Your emotions are not the enemy, how you deal with them is.