Relationships: Advice - Don't Buy The Blender

In this day and age of dating, things aren’t exactly as easy as they used to be. Especially as you get older, it becomes harder and harder to meet potential love interests that have the same values as you. Relationships are a lot harder now that there’s a pandemic challenging people to get out and try new things to meet new people. With their past experiences with relationships, it seems it’s getting harder for people to trust the dating process anymore.

“Be yourself.” is probably the cheapest and most generic response anyone can give when it comes to dating advice, but it’s the only one that matters. When it comes to dating, not much has changed with relationships from the start. The truth of the matter is that the majority of relationships end because one or both participants is forced to be something they’re not. We’re so starved for love and connection that we pretend to be happy. Then we stick around for those same moments of happiness that are long gone.

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While most relationships seem like a great idea at first, some of us hold on for too long hoping things will change. Think of it like trying to lose weight. Most of us have a blender taking up space in our cabinets. We buy them because one day they’ll help us lose weight with smoothies or that we’ll use it when we have guests over to make cocktails, but realistically it’s been collecting dust since you got it. You really hit the ground running when you first get it, I mean heck you’ve already invested in it. But after a while it loses it’s appeal of being new and you’re using it far less than you wanted. Of course, you pull it out from time to time and pretend you still use it, but back into the cupboard it goes for six more months.

That’s how most relationships are. When they’re new and exciting we fall very quickly. Then over the course of your relationship, things begin to fracture, we hold onto these relationships because we’ve already invested in them and want to make them work. Then we do the small occasional outings trying to act like we’re still invested. However, eventually, it falls apart. That’s when things seem like they’ve changed. They’ve always been there, they’ve just been covered up.

If look into many failed relationships, how many of them end with “you’re not the man/woman I fell in love with”? But they are, they were just pretending to be what you wanted trying to force something to make them happy. Stop forcing bad relationships. Look at it when you go out together, do they do it because it’s something you can enjoy together or are they doing it just because it makes you smile. If that person is just kind of there, on their phone, mentally checked out that’s an obvious sign the connection isn’t there.

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Yes, we all do things that we don’t want to because our partner enjoys them when we don’t. However, the line is drawn at participation, even if it’s passively. You might not be having fun doing the activity, but still enjoying the company of your partner is a huge sign. That’s why dating is breaking down these days. People aren’t jumping to buy the blender anymore. We’re not investing into things that aren’t good fits.

Don’t buy the blender. Find the person you don’t have to fake it for. If you’re not looking for the party lifestyle, don’t go looking at a bar/club. Go out, do the things you like doing and find the person who’s just as invested. Relationships aren’t bad because people have changed. It’s just more and more people aren’t lying to themselves about what they’re looking for in life. “Be yourself” might not be life-changing advice, but it’s the beset advice you can get.