Relationships: Are You A Giver Or A Taker?
When it comes to your relationship, how do you define your role? Are you the one giving or the one that’s always taking? Now, this is a sour subject for some but it’s one that’s often discussed among family and friends but not in the relationship. A man can tell his boys that’s he’s always providing and a woman can tell her family that’s she’s the one holding him down. But they both forget to express their concerns to one another.
Let’s say you meet a man or woman. You guys go out, have a great time and before you know it, your in a relationship. Now comes the times for dates, gifts, kind words or whatever you may be into to express your feelings.
More Relationships: Dating – If You Ask, Do You Pay?
Here comes the part where you must decide who and what you are with your partner. Are you always giving gifts, paying for dinner and saying the seductive and sweet things to your partner? If you are, then that’s not the major issue here. The issue is that you never get it back in return.
The bill comes and they never reach for it. Birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day comes and nothing but a text. And yet, you go all out for them. You do it because you care. But the part that hurts the most is that they know you care and use that to their advantage.
Here is a case all too familiar with some couples. It starts with a phone call or a text explaining how a bill is due. Now, you have a decision to make. Do you ignore it or be that person they’re expecting you to be and say you will help? If you ignore it, the fear is that you will lose then. If you help, you know it’s not doing anyone any good in the long run. What do you do?
This is when you have to rationalize your position. Think back to all the times you have paid, spoke and offered encouragement. Then think of the times that it was given back. While yours may outweigh theirs, that’s okay but make sure it’s not a 10-1 ratio. If your partner is going through some financial difficulties that’s understandable but how long does that last?
What it boils down to is that you’re being used. Accept it, either move on or have a heart-to-heart talk. It could be a simple fix. For men, we often feel as if we must do it all. For some women, they’re used to someone doing it for them. No one is really at fault. But if you have that talk and it still continues, then you move on.
There is no need to be there for someone who can’t and won’t return the favor.
Mark has been covering Sports and Entertainment for the past six years. His work has been featured on Bleacher Report, ESPN, Fox Sports, Teen Vogue, and many other websites.
